We hear from most couples in distress that they feel they have a problem with “communication”. However, we always find that the issue underneath the communication problem is the loss of connection, the loss of feeling “you are really there for me”, a disruption in the quality of the bond or “attachment” between partners.
It’s the bond between you, your “connection” that needs help. There are no bad people; just two people who are usually hurt and confused about how to get the connection back. It’s even common to feel hopelessness or despair that there is no way to get the connection back.
But, in our experience it’s more than possible; we see couples transform quite frequently. Distressed couples can learn the relational habits and attunement skills that are necessary to re-create connection, safety and friendship. We will show you what it takes to create the conditions for connection and re-pair.
Couples work is not a spectator sport; we are actively involved in guiding and teaching you. We teach from a place of humility and passion that comes from making the choice each and every day in our own relationship of 26 years to live what we teach. So we can teach from the aliveness we feel in our own relationship as well as from the therapy “models” that we have studied and continue to study.
Recent studies suggest that between 30 and 50 % of divorced couples regret not trying harder to stay together. And a typical divorce can cost in excess of $25,000. So if you are contemplating divorce, don’t risk going to a “generalist” practitioner, see a specialist. (For more, see Bill Doherty’s exellent article)
Couples work has been our focus and specialty since 2003 when we trained and became certified in IMAGO Relationship Therapy. We have also studied and/or trained in the Gottman Method, the Emotionally Focused Couples work of Sue Johnson and Stephen Porges Polyvagal Theory (to download Deb Dana’s Polyvagal guide, go here).
We are ongoing students of mindfulness and neuroscience. We are currently enrolled in Hedy Schliefer‘s second 3 year Encounter Centered Couples Therapy Master Class. So, we are continuously immersed in the ongoing evolution and development of cutting edge couples work. Let us share it with you and transform your relationship.