Every couple is on a unique journey, a journey fraught with unexpected and at times daunting challenges. It’s very common for couples to find themselves at a crossroads, which is really a break-up or break-through transformational opportunity from our perspective.
This crossroads may have come about due to infidelity, parenting challenges, addictions or because each person has been progressively disengaging from the other for years. We often hear from couples in distress that they feel they have a problem with “communication”. However, underneath the communication problem is always the loss of connection, the loss of feeling “you’re really there for me”.
It’s the bond between you, your “connection” that needs help. There are no bad people; just two people who are hurt and confused about how to get the connection back. It’s not really about negotiating, problem solving or compromising better. It’s about getting the connection back. Many distressed couples live in despair or disbelief that getting their connection back is even possible.
In our experience it’s more than possible; we see couples transform quite regularly. Distressed couples can absolutely learn both the relational habits and attunement skills that are essential for re-creating connection, safety and friendship. We will show you what it takes to create the conditions for aliveness and re-pair in your relationship.
In couples sessions, we are each actively involved in guiding you. We each teach from a place of humility and passion that comes from making the choice each and every day in our own relationship of 26 years to live what we teach. So we can teach from both the aliveness we feel in our own relationship as well as from the therapy “models” that we have studied and continue to study.
Recent studies suggest that between 30 and 50 % of divorced couples regret not trying harder to stay together. And a typical divorce can cost in excess of $25,000. So if you are contemplating divorce, don’t risk going to a “generalist” practitioner, see a specialist. (For more on this topic, see Bill Doherty’s exellent article)
Couples work has been our focus and specialty since 2003 when we trained and became certified in IMAGO Relationship Therapy. We have also studied and/or trained in the Gottman Method, the Emotionally Focused Couples work of Sue Johnson and Stephen Porges Polyvagal Theory (to download Deb Dana’s Polyvagal guide, go here).
We are ongoing students of mindfulness and neuroscience. We are currently enrolled in Hedy Schliefer‘s second 3 year Encounter Centered Couples Therapy Master Class. So, we are continuously immersed in the ongoing evolution and development of cutting edge couples work. We’d be delighted to share what we are learning and support you to transform your relationship.