Sue Johnson’s work on adult attachment and bonding has had a huge impact on the field of effective couples work. This video includes clips of the “Still Face” situation (mother & infant) as well as a classic example of disconnection in an adult couple.
In both child and adult situations, we reach and invite connection; if there is no response we protest, turn away and then shut down and/or go into meltdown. In a good relationship, both partners are able to initiate repair and move back into connection after there has been a rupture.
Our personal histories as children as well as prior adult love relationships create a template for connection expectations that is often operating just under our awareness. However, we can always learn to be aware of this template and learn the art of re-pair and re-connection.
