Couples Therapy for One
If you are ready to work on your relationship and your partner isn’t, then Couples Therapy for One might be for you. In fact, your partner might just follow. The important thing is you will experience personal grow that can itself bring about relationship changes. Becoming fully aware of your contribution and how to proceed skillfully will absolutely increase the chance your relationship will become the blessing for which you are hoping.
In Couples Therapy for One, our work together will make use of neuroscience & polyvagal understandings as well as mindfulness and mind/body approaches so you can:
- Better understand your dreams & needs and work on the skills to meet them.
- Learn to be truly present to the moment, only using the past as a teacher.
- Enhance your self-care skills and ability to self-sooth.
- Begin to own unskillful behavior so you can both choose behaviors that align with your essence and bring out the best in your partner.
- Discover what you can bring to your relationship that will supports growth, better connection and intimacy.
- Claim your own happiness from within.
Couples therapy for one can be a great way to start your journey. Together, we will hold your partner with deep respect; imagining his or her experience as we work with yours; imagining alternative scenarios that would enhance your connection and intimacy. Many reluctant partners become curious by changes they notice in a partner who is doing this kind of work and may then become open to doing couples work.
If you’d really rather do couples therapy, be bold. Find a time when you are both rested and in a good space, share with your partner these words, “we both want and deserve more and I need your help”. ‘Own’ your contribution. Be careful not to place blame.
If your partner is still not be ready or willing, don’t criticize, beg or try to coerce. Understand that ‘getting ready’ is a process. It will take time, patience and trust. If it is not safe ‘not to go to therapy’ then why would it be safe ‘to go’? Look inside yourself for now and imagine YOU are your solution. Remember, when one part of a system changes, the other part(s) are compelled to change also. Recognize and appreciate your courage and your wisdom to face the problems you are experiencing as an important first step.
“When my partner changed their behavior; the pressure dissipated, and when that is gone, you can think more clearly and your whole perspective changes.”
Taken from an article in the Wall Street Journal
